Saint Francis de Sales Church

Marriage Preparation

Best wishes and congratulations! We are happy you are celebrating your wedding within the community of St. Francis de Sales Church. Marriage is a solemn commitment which involves you, the parish, the larger Church and Almighty God. Your engagement is a sign of God’s blessing in our midst. Your wedding day is the summit of your engagement, the day which marks the beginning of the rest of your lives, a date to be kept as a precious anniversary and which will be an occasion of God’s grace in our parish.

As you already know, or will soon discover, an event the magnitude of a wedding requires much preparation in order to run smoothly. There will be many details and people involved in the celebration of your marriage. Our wedding coordinator and musicians have been involved in many weddings. Their knowledge and experience will help make your wedding a beautiful ceremony. Your wedding will be a turning point in your lives but it is not exclusively for you; it is an event also for your families and is a time for us as a parish to express our appreciation for marriage and family. Let us pray for one another as together we prepare for your wedding day.

Wedding Mass or Wedding Ceremony?

What is your relationship to Sunday Mass? How is your attendance at Sunday Mass? Have you been away from Sunday Mass? Are you faithful in joining the Church at Sunday Mass?
In view of your responses to the questions above, is a Wedding Mass or a Wedding Ceremony the better context for your wedding?
If one of you is from another religion and so is unable to share in Holy Communion is a Wedding Ceremony appropriate?

How to Best Prepare for Marriage?

The most important part of your marriage preparation is your own relationship with Christ the Lord, Who leads and guides us through life. You are encouraged to pray for the graces and strength to respond generously to God’s call to marriage. Participating in the life of the Church by faithfully attending Sunday Mass is necessary for a healthy and lasting marriage.

Documents Needed For Marriage

Baptismal Certificate: A Baptismal Certificate or letter attesting to baptism including the date and church of baptism must be submitted for each baptized bride and groom, no matter in what religion the person was baptized. For the Catholic bride or groom, the certificate must be a recently issued copy from the church of baptism.

Confirmation Certificate: A Certificate of Confirmation or notation of Confirmation on the back or at the bottom of the baptismal certificate is required.

Testimony of Witnesses: The sworn testimony of two competent witnesses for each party concerning his or her freedom to marry must be obtained. The priest has a standard questionnaire for witnesses he will give to you. .

Marriage License: A marriage license, obtained from any county in California, must be submitted to the Wedding Coordinator no later than the wedding rehearsal.

Marriage Preparation Program: The Archdiocese of Los Angeles sponsored pre-marriage program is required. There are three options: an Engaged Encounter Weekend or 8 hours on a Saturday, or 4 evening sessions, 2 hours for each session. A certificate will be given at the completion of the program. When to attend this program? Earlier is better than later.

Permissions and Dispensations In the case of an “ecumenical marriage” (the marriage of a Catholic and a person baptized in another Christian faith) Permission for mixed Marriage form must be completed by the priest and signed by the couple. In the case of an “inter-religious marriage” (the marriage of a Catholic and a person who is not baptized) a Dispensation from Disparity of Worship must be completed by the priest and signed by the couple.

Pre-Nuptial Inquiry: The priest will interview you individually and complete the inquiry form used throughout the archdiocese. This is for the purpose of determining your freedom to marry and your intentions for marriage.

A helpful hint is to have all the documents turned in and pre-marriage program completed a month prior to your wedding. Save the last month to attend to the myriad of last minute wedding details.

St. Francis de Sales Church

13360 Valleyheart Dr.

Sherman Oaks CA 91423

TEL: 818-784-0105

FAX: 818-784-4807

E-mail: sfdschurch@sbcglobal.net

To Obtain a Marriage License

Marriage License Application: To apply for and obtain a marriage license on the same day, both applicants must appear together at one of the Registrar-Recorder offices to complete an application and have it submitted to the cashier no later than 4 p.m. The processing time to complete the license is 1 hour.
Proof of Age: Applicants must present a valid California I.D., driver’s license, passport or alien resident card. A certified birth certificate or baptismal record and a picture form of ID issued by a government agency will also be accepted.
Anyone under 18 must also provide a notarized parent or guardian consent statement and a Superior Court Order granting the minor permission to marry. Please call the Registrar-Recorder for more information about these requirements at 562-462-2137.
A blood test and health certificate NOT required to obtain a marriage license.
Parties must be unmarried. A marriage is valid until the final date of dissolution. Date of final dissolution must be provided at time marriage license is requested.
Marriage License Requirements:

Regular Marriage License: Fee: $90.00. Valid for 90 days and in

any county in California.

Confidential Marriage License: Fee: $85.00. Valid for 90 days and ONLY in county

where license is issued. Couple must be living together as husband and wife.

5. Locations where Marriage License may be obtained:

Norwalk

12400 Imperial Highway, Room 1002

Office Hours: 8:00 am – 5:00 pm

562-462-2137

Lancaster

1028 W. Avenue J-2

Office Hours: 8:30 am – 4:30 pm

661-945-6446

Van Nuys

14340 W. Sylvan St.

Office Hours: 8:30 am – 4:30 pm

818-376-3700

LAX

11701 S. La Cienega Blvd. 6th Floor

8:30 am – 4:30 pm

310-727-6142

East Los Angeles

4716 E. Cesar Chavez Ave.

Office Hours: 8:30 am – 4:30 pm

323-260-2991

Avalon (Catalina Island)

City Hall Annex

Office Hours: 8:30 am – 4:30 pm

Monday-Thursday

310-510-0026 (by appointment only)

Beverly Hills

9355 Burton Way, 1st Floor

8:30am – 4:00 pm

310-288-1261

Florence-Firestone

7807 S. Compton Ave., Rm. 215

8:30 am – 4:30 p.m.

323-586-6192

St. Francis de Sales Church

13360 Valleyheart Dr.

Sherman Oaks CA 91423

TEL: 818-784-0105

FAX: 818-784-4807

E-mail: sfdschurch@sbcglobal.net

Checklist for Couple

Name of Bride: _______________________________________

Name of Groom: _______________________________________

Date of Wedding: ____________________ Time of Wedding: _________

Date of Rehearsal ___________________ Time of rehearsal_________

Name of Wedding Coordinator___________________________________

_____Certificate of Baptism or letter verifying church and date of baptism

_____Certificate of Confirmation or Confirmation Notation on Baptismal

Certificate

_____Wedding Fees: Church, Music, Wedding Coordinator, Servers

_____Testimony of Witnesses

_____Marriage License (to be given to Wedding Coordinator no later than your

wedding rehearsal)

_____Completed/Scheduled Marriage Preparation Program

_____Contacted church musician

_____Schedule wedding rehearsal with church wedding coordinator

_____Liturgy Planning Sheet (selected choices of prayers and readings for

wedding)

Make life easy for you, tend to these details and have your documents and fees prepared to turn in a month before your wedding.

St. Francis de Sales Church

13360 Valleyheart Dr.

Sherman Oaks CA 91423

TEL: 818-784-0105

FAX: 818-784-4807

E-mail: sfdschurch@sbcglobal.net

Telephone Numbers and Fees Schedule

Wedding Coordinators:

Tina McConnell ……………………… (818) 342-5233

Music:

Steve Park …………………………… (310) 215-9892

Fees:

Church and Wedding Coordinator…. $650.00

Music (organist only)…………….. ... $150.00

Singer………………………………… $150.00

Altar Servers…………………… ………..$10.00 each

To assist us in helping you, please turn in all completed paperwork and fees at least four (4) weeks before your wedding.

Wedding Coordinator. Each couple will use the services of the parish Wedding Coordinator. The wedding coordinator will schedule and direct the rehearsal and will be at church on the wedding day to ensure that all goes smoothly from the beginning of the wedding until the last person leaves the Church. You may have an additional wedding coordinator to facilitate wedding day preparations and reception details. This additional wedding coordinator which the couple chooses to use will have no responsibilities inside the church. Such a person will be informed of this by the couple. Please make sure your wedding party is on time for the rehearsal. The rehearsal is limited to an hour

None of the Church furniture may be moved for the wedding or wedding pictures except by the wedding coordinator or priest.

You may wish to have a priest or deacon who is a friend or relative witness your marriage. He must be in good standing and must receive permission to witness your marriage from a priest assigned to St. Francis de Sales.

Seasonal and Environmental Enhancement

Please note that the church environment expresses the various seasons and moods of the Church year. You may wish to see there what environment will be in place for your proposed wedding date. Your wedding flowers may highlight your wedding colors, but the church environment must remain in place during your wedding.

Advent: Color: purple. Advent wreath will be in place the Saturday afternoon before the First Sunday of Advent

Christmas: Color: white. In place by Christmas Eve.

Ordinary Time: Color: green. Between the Baptism of the Lord and Ash Wednesday.

Lent: Color: purple. Ash Wednesday through Holy Saturday. Bare church – no flowers, no ceiling hangings, no wall flower baskets.

Easter and Easter Season: Color: white.

Pentecost: Color: red.

Ordinary Time: Color: green. Day after Corpus Christi Sunday through summer and fall until the First Sunday of Advent.

Please note:

No staples, wire or tape may be used to attach anything to the pews. Plastic clips and large rubber bands are easy to obtain, easy to use and don’t damage the pews.

The center aisle is 90 feet long from the inside church door to the altar step

Flowers may be placed on either side of the altar and/or on either side of the pulpit. NEVER are flowers placed ON the altar.

Please plan to leave some of your wedding flowers behind for the weekend so the entire community may share in the beauty of your wedding

Please arrange to have someone (your florist or a guest) remove any items placed along the aisles (ribbons, flowers) at the end of the wedding.

Aisle bows/ribbons/flowers can be lovely but avoid a swag from pew to pew. Guests will attempt to step over it and will either trip or tear the swag.

Photographers are to stand on the church floor and NOT on the altar platform.

Dressing Room: The bride’s room is the old baptistery. The bride’s room is best used by the bride and her party for some privacy to do any final touch-up and to wait for the wedding to begin.

Music: The organist of St. Francis de Sales is to be used. Any questions regarding music, such as: singers, additional musicians, song selections, are to be referred to the musicians.

Recorded music is never allowed in the church. Music, scripture readings and our prayers are not pre-recorded to be played in church. Worship is live action.

Many couples have “their song” or a favorite song. This song may mean very much to you. The appropriate time and place for this song is the wedding reception.

Pews: there are 24 pews down the center aisle.

Rice and/or Birdseed and flower pedals (whether real or silk) are slip-and-fall accidents waiting to happen. Please do not throw anything prior to or at the end of the wedding except kisses and good wishes.

Aisle Runner: Aisle runners are not allowed. We have a beautiful terrazzo floor. The terrazzo floor will beautifully highlight the bride’s gown.

As you face the altar, the bride’s side is the left; the groom’s side is the right.

Unity Candle: you may wish to obtain your own wedding candle and use it during your wedding. Have someone in your wedding party take it after the wedding and give it to you later. Keep it and light it on your anniversaries and also at those times when you or your spouse need to be reminded of the beauty of your wedding.

Wedding times are 10:30 am, 12:30 pm and 2:30 pm.

The wedding rehearsal is scheduled with the wedding coordinator. Out of respect for the wedding coordinator, please make sure that your entire wedding party arrives on time. The rehearsal should not be more than one hour.

Please do not release doves or other birds either inside or outside the church.

Please, no food or drink in the bride’s room or in the church, at either the rehearsal or on the wedding day.

No arches or trellises inside the church; they distract from the wedding.

Preparing the Wedding Liturgy

Gathering Rite – the entrance of the mothers, the procession of bridesmaids (and groomsmen if desired), the maid (or matron) of honor and then the bride.

Opening Prayer

Liturgy of the Word

Not merely readings, the proclamation of the Word is an encounter with God speaking through Scripture. Therefore, non-Biblical readings are never appropriate. Normally there is an Old Testament reading, a Responsorial Psalm which may be sung or read and a New Testament reading.

The lector does not just “read the Bible.” In this special role the lector helps to make God present among the gathered community of faith. You may choose two lectors: one for the Old Testament reading and one for the New Testament reading. The readers should be Catholics inasmuch as the one who proclaims the Word on behalf of the assembly should also be part of the assembly in the sharing of Holy Communion. If the Responsorial Psalm is read, another reader may be chosen to read the psalm. The priest (or deacon) will proclaim the Gospel.

Rite of Marriage

Instruction and questions, marriage vows, blessing and exchange of wedding rings and the Prayer of the Faithful. You may choose another person (Catholic or non-Catholic) to announce the intentions for the Prayer of the Faithful.

Liturgy of the Eucharist

“Eucharist” means thanksgiving and is the sacramental encounter with God. You may choose two people to carry the gifts of bread and wine. Again, the fullest form of participation is best served by inviting Catholics to act as gift-bearers.

The Our Father is not sung as a solo, but may be sung or said together by everyone at a wedding.

After Holy Communion is completed, the couple may chose to take flowers to the altar of the Blessed Mother.

Concluding Rite

Prayer after Communion, the Final Blessing.

The new couple is the first to leave the church, followed by the bridesmaids and groomsmen, parents of the bride, parents of the groom and then everyone else.

Musical Guidelines for Weddings

I. Choosing Musicians

a. Please contact the church musicians of St. Francis de Sales as soon as

possible to begin determining the music for your wedding.

b. if you wish to have a singer (cantor), you may choose from any of the

cantors who sing at St. Francis de Sales.

c. it is highly recommended that if you wish to have any other musicians for

your wedding (e.g., violin, harp, string trio, etc) that you allow us to contact

those musicians for you.

II. Choosing Music

If you have particular music in mind for your wedding, you can discuss this with the church musician. If you are unfamiliar with music for weddings, the church musician will offer suggestions for music most often played at weddings. You may wish to purchase a CD of wedding music or go online to wedding websites and listen to instrumental wedding music. Here are places where music is played during the wedding:

a. Wedding Mass

Processional - (1 or 2 instrumental pieces)

Grandparents

Groom’s parents

Mother of bride

Bridesmaids, flower girl, ring bearer, maid of honor

Children under four years of age should not be in the wedding party

Bride - (1 instrumental piece)

Responsorial Psalm - (if you have a cantor, should be sung by cantor)

Unity Candle - (optional) 1 brief song or brief instrumental

Preparation of the Gifts - 1 song or instrumental

Sign of Peace - 1 instrumental

Holy Communion - 1 Communion Song or instrumental

Flowers to the Blessed Mother - 1 song, usually the Ave Maria

Recessional - 1 instrumental

b. Wedding Ceremony (without Mass)

Same as above, except there is no Preparation of the Gifts or Holy Communion

Please be advised of the following reminders:

The Gloria and the Profession of Faith (Creed) are not a part of the wedding.

The Our Father is not sung as a solo, but may be sung by the entire assembly.

For your assistance, the following pieces of music are the most frequently requested processionals and recessionals to offer some suggestions.

PROCESSIONALS RECESSIONALS

Bridal Chorus – Wagner The Wedding March - Mendelssohn

Trumpet Voluntary – Clarke Water Music - Handel

Trumpet Tune – Purcell Ode to Joy - Beethoven

Canon in D – Pachelbel

Jesu, Joy of Man’s Desiring – J.S. Bach

Catholic marriage is a celebration of God’s love alive in the couple. The music for Catholic weddings must always be sacred music which helps turn our minds and hearts to God. All couples have “our song”. The appropriate place and time for such songs is the wedding reception. Your wedding is a time of prayer: the two of you thanking God for the blessing of marriage and your family and friends praying for the two of you. All music is “live”, no tapes or CDs are permitted.

Other Elements

Signs, symbols and gestures are intrinsic to worship but if there is an overabundance of them they tend to get lost. The primary symbols of your marriage are the exchange of vows and rings and, if a Wedding (Nuptial) Mass is celebrated, this includes the sharing of the One Bread and the One Cup as a sign of unity and love. To these, other signs of a secondary nature are sometime used:

Unity (Wedding) Candle
Flowers to the Blessed Virgin
Veil, Coins, Bible, Rosary, Cord,

What should be included? Be aware that “often less is more”. Fewer signs receive more attention; more signs receive less attention.

Worksheet to give to Wedding Coordinator

___________________________ ______________________________

Groom Bride

Who will be escorting the mothers of the groom and bride?

___________________________ _____________________________

Groom’s mother Escort

___________________________ _____________________________

Bride’s mother Escort

Wedding Party:

___________________________ ______________________________

Maid/Matron of Honor Best Man

Parents:

Groom’s _______________________ and _____________________________

Bride’s ________________________ and _____________________________

Processional:

Grandparents to be escorted Yes/No

Flower girl ___________________________ Ring bearer __________________

Bride’s Maids/ Groom’s Men: Single file _________ Couples ________

Names of Bride’s Maids _____________________________________________

(in order of entering church) __________________________________________

__________________________________________

Names of Groom’s Men (ushers) ______________________________________

(in order of entering church) ________________________________________

________________________________________

Bride escorted by __________ Father _________ Both Parents _______Other

Old Testament selection: ____________ Read by __________________ Psalm: Sung/Read by: _______________________________

New Testament selection: ___________ Read by ___________________

Unity Candle: Mothers lighting candles _________ Other _________________

Coins: Yes / No Lasso: Yes/ No Veil: Yes/ No Bible Yes/No Rosary Yes/No

Prayer of the Faithful: Read by ___________________ _______

Gifts of hosts and wine carried by: _____________________________________

Flowers to the Blessed Mother: Yes/ No

Special Notes: ____________________________________________________

The first creation story (Genesis 1:26-28, 31): "So God created humankind in his image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them" (verse 27). Genesis 1 in the NAB.
The second creation story (Genesis 2:18-24): "Then the Lord God said, 'It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper as his partner.... Therefore a man leaves his father and his mother and clings to his wife, and they become one flesh" (verses 18, 24). Genesis 2 in the NAB.
With God's help, Isaac finds a suitable wife in Rebekah (Genesis 24:48-51, 58-67): "Then Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah's tent. He took Rebekah, and she became his wife, and he loved her" (verse 67). Genesis 24 in the NAB.
Tobias asks Raguel for Sarah's hand in marriage (Tobit 7:9-10, 11-15): "May the Lord of heaven, my child, guide and prosper you both this night, and grant you mercy and peace" (verse 11). Tobit 7 in the NAB.
Tobias prays for God's mercy for himself and Sarah on their wedding night (Tobit 8:5-7): "Grant that she and I may find mercy and that we may grow old together" (verse 7). Tobit 8 in the NAB.
A biblical love song (Song of Songs 2:8-10, 14, 16; 8:6-7): "Set me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal upon your arm; for love is strong as death, passion fierce as the grave. Its flashes are flashes of fire, a raging flame. Many waters cannot quench love, neither can floods drown it. If one offered for love all the wealth of one's house, it would be utterly scorned" (Song of Songs 8:6-7). Song of Songs 2 in the NAB; Song of Songs 8 in the NAB.
The qualities of a good spouse (Sirach 26:1-4, 13-16): "A wife's charm delights her husband, and her skill puts flesh on his bones" (verse 13). Sirach 26 in the NAB.
God's covenant with his people as a model for the marriage covenant (Jeremiah 31:31-32a, 33-34a): "But this is the covenant that I will make with the house of Israel after those days, says the Lord: I will put my law within them, and I will write it on their hearts; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people" (verse 33). Jeremiah 31 in the NAB.

Options for the Responsorial Psalm

The psalms were written as songs, so although the responsorial psalm can be read if no cantor (song leader) is available, it is better for it to be sung by a cantor (GIRM #61). The responsorial psalm is the assembly's response to the Word of God; accordingly, the cantor sings the verses, and then leads the whole assembly in singing the response. In the following list of responsorial psalms for weddings, the title is the assembly's response.

The earth is full of the goodness of the Lord (Psalm 33:12, 18, 20-21, 22): Psalm 33 in the NAB.
I will bless the Lord at all times (Psalm 34:2-3, 4-5, 6-7, 8-9): Psalm 34 in the NAB.
The Lord is kind and merciful (Psalm 103:1-2, 8, 13, 17-18): Psalm 103 in the NAB.
Happy are those who do what the Lord commands (Psalm 112:1-2, 3-4, 5-7, 7-8, 9): Psalm 112 in the NAB.
Happy are those who fear the Lord (Psalm 128:1-2, 3, 4-5): Psalm 128 in the NAB.
The Lord is compassionate to all his creatures (Psalm 145:8-9, 10, 15, 17-18): Psalm 145 in the NAB.
Let all praise the name of the Lord (Psalm 148:1-2, 3-4, 9-10, 11-12, 13-14): Psalm 148 in the NAB.

Options for the Second Reading (New Testament)

The depth of God's love (Romans 8:31-35, 37-39): "For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, 39 nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord" (verses 38-39).Romans 8 in the NAB.
A summary of Christian life. (Romans 12:1-2, 9-18 [long form] or Romans 12:1-2, 9-13 [short form]): "Let love be genuine; hate what is evil, hold fast to what is good; love one another with mutual affection; outdo one another in showing honor" (verses 9 and 10). Romans 12 in the NAB.
The sanctity of the body (1 Corinthians 6:13-15, 17-20): "Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, which you have from God, and that you are not your own? For you were bought with a price; therefore glorify God in your body" (verses 19 and 20). 1 Corinthians 6 in the NAB.
The qualities of love (1 Corinthians 12:31 - 13:8). "Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth" (verses 4 - 6). 1 Corinthians 12 in the NAB; 1 Corinthians 13 in the NAB.
Marriage compared to the relationship between Christ and the Church (Ephesians 5:2, 21-33 [long form] or Ephesians 5:2, 25-32 [short form]): "Just as the church is subject to Christ, so also wives ought to be, in everything, to their husbands. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her" (verses 24-25). Ephesians 5 in the NAB.
Love perfects all virtues (Colossians 3:12-17): "Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony" (verse 14). Colossians 3 in the NAB.
The conduct of Christian wives and husbands (1 Peter 3:1-9): "Finally, all of you, have unity of spirit, sympathy, love for one another, a tender heart, and a humble mind" (verse 8). 1 Peter 3 in the NAB.
Love of God requires love of one another (1 John3:18-24): "And this is his commandment, that we should believe in the name of his Son Jesus Christ and love one another, just as he has commanded us." 1 John 3 in the NAB.
God is love (1 John 4:7-12): "Beloved, let us love one another, because love is from God; everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, for God is love" (verses 7-8). 1 John 4 in the NAB.
The wedding feast of the lamb (Revelation 19:1, 5-9): "Let us rejoice and exult and give him the glory, for the marriage of the Lamb has come, and his bride has made herself ready..." (verse 7). Revelation 19 in the NAB.